The ancient lands.


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Schnickelfritz
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    The New Order of MEAN: The First Four

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    Moran



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    Post by Moran June 28th 2012, 5:34 am

    A bit past midnight in Crazy Gadget, northern Tescia:

    Suddenly and without warning, an obsidian tower sprang up from the soft, empty plains in Crazy Gadget. Atop it appeared the form of the wizard Mly, in his black robe. Visibly, his form was nothing but a silhouette against the night sky of Tescia, not that any were around to see him anyway. His voice boomed across the plains, for all who would listen to hear.

    "Brothers and sisters of Tescia, rejoice! For the second order has crumbled, all but destroyed, replaced with a third, greater order!" He flung his head skyward, staring at the stars. "I see the first faint glimmers of the new Congratulatory Clique, the light in the darkness, like the stars in the black sky! And even now, one by one, the darkest regions go alight with tiny little white dots, each a glimmer of hope for our future!"

    Unseen behind his mask, but heard all throughout the land in a slight tremor in his voice, Mly teared up with joy. "I thought for a time that Tescia would be marred for a great while from the war, that all sides had lost to the evil hand of Dramar; but no! Dramar was friven out, and in the end Tescia was victorious! Tescia rebuilt rapidly from the war, and returned to a level of glory unseen for lengths immeasurable!"

    There was a deep ahum as Mly slightly regained his composure before continuing. "In light of these recent circumstances, I would like to summon into being, The Second Order of MEAN, sworn protectors of Tescia and her spirit! I have already selected and conversed with the first three members of this most righteous of orders."

    There was a long pause in Mly's speech as he summoned the three atop the spire. All three held their off-hand over their hearts, but none bowed; one would assume a member of MEAN, protectors of the free spirit of Tescia, to be disinclined to bow. "The first I contacted: Schnickelfritz. Schnickelfritz, I dub thee Master Sheogorath. Master of madness and chaos, sworn protector of Tescia's cheese."

    Mly slid his robe up and removed an odd dagger from a hidden thigh-belt. He held it skyward for a long moment, and it seemed to draw in truly massive amounts of energy from the ether: some of the stars themselves seemed to descend from the sky, and the little golden lights were drawn to the blade. He suddenly stabbed it straight into the heart of Schnickelfritz, through his hand and ribcage alike. The agonized scream echoed all throughout Tescia, dwarfing Mly's arcanely enhanced voice in volume. Mly at last yanked the dagger from Master Sheogorath's bosom, and the hole healed in but moments with no bloodshed. Something had changed in him, clear as day, though strangely not visible. He stood silently now, his initiation over, waiting for the end of the ceremony.

    Mly turned to Nuva, and held the blade aloft again. Through Nuva's eyes, all of Tescia seemed to reveal itself. The most distant pasts and futures, and all between, showed themselves to him in but a fleeting moment as all of Tescia changed. The most immeasurably long of processes -- the slow but steady change of the land, the creeping of even the smallest and newest of threads outward and upward, save for the occasional disastrous destruction, .... -- all looked to happen in the blink of an eye to him. When he returned from this trance-like state, he looked up at Mly's dagger, and saw that it was seemingly wrapped in the memories of all Tescians, and their hopes for the future.

    "The second: Nuva. Nuva, I dub thee Master Timelander. Master of time and its order, sworn protector of Tescia's memory and future." Mly stabbed the blade through Master Timelander's heart, and again an agonized scream was heard all throughout Tescia. And Master Timelander, too, was changed.

    Mly turned at last to Jmh, and held the blade in the air yet again. "Third is Jmh. Jmh, I dub thee Master Hansen. Master of justice and righteousness, sworn protector of the Tescian spirit of great justice and liberty." From nowhere, a bolt of pure white lightning struck the blade, and Mly stabbed it through his heart just the same. A third agonized screech echoed through the land, and Master Hansen was changed as well.

    Mly stretched his arms high and held the blade upward one last time. "Fourth and finally, myself. I hope to dub mine self Master Dichotomy. Master of the fiery rage of Dramar itself, and of ice-cold logick taken from the Hidden Palace; sworn protector of the collective wrath of Tescia, and of her health and wealth of logick." All at once, a hole cracked wide in the empty plain of Crazy Gadget, nearby, and the fires of Dramar sprang forth. So, too, did the clouds open themselves, and down came an ice-cold wind from the Hidden Palace itself. Both flew out in a stream, and converged together above, just before swooping down and being consumed by the blade. The holes closed up quickly and seamlessly once they had spilled their contents. Master Dichotomy held his right hand over his heart and held his left out, jamming the blade deep through his hand and ribs, into his own heart without hesitation.

    Master Dichotomy emitted a sound somewhere along the perhaps contested border between that of a young girl screaming in ecstasy indescribable, and that of a monster emitting a sound not strictly fit for Tescian ears. All of Tescia shook during this final event as if nodding happily in approval of her four new champions; in a few places she split wide from the violent tremors. The quaking stopped as suddenly as it began, and the cracks in the land quickly healed.

    The four vanished from there with nary a word, returned to go about their business for a time. But in their place atop the tall obsidian spire, was left a large square table, four plain chairs sat neatly about it.

    ~~~~~

    Oh man, that took forever to write. So yeah. MEAN is back. It's really not anything too important. Just me and 3 folks I've become rather fond of, a bunch of analogies to knightly orders, ('Cept with a bunch of fantastic and magical stuff that couldn't really happen, because why not?) and an excuse for me to write.

    Chances are, we probably won't actually do much anything "knightly" in reality, unless the shit hits the fan and someone needs their face stomped in hard, e.g. the recent spat with SA2.

    I know I love my warfare, and Schnicky seems to like it as well, somewhat. Nuva seemed to want to have included himself in the SA2 madness after he came around a bit too late. Jmh doesn't seem much of a fighter, but that's okay, 'cause we need a more pious guy, and I luffles him anyway, as I'm sure many of us do.

    The SA2 derpiness, that's actually how I got the original inspiration to bring it back. Don't ask me how, because the path of logicks from that to this was so long and circuitous that I've already forgotten exactly how I got to this from that.

    I would've included Zez and Lan and prob'ly some others, but Zez and Lan already get enough glory, and as for the others, I'm sure there are some, but I'm forgetful.

    P.S.: If me randomly posting stories in Crazy Gadget is starting to get on anyone's nerves, just tell me. I'm not really sure if it should go here or in Dust Hill; this and The Monument of Wrath are based loosely in actual events through fun analogies, so bah, Iunno if this fits or not.

    P.P.S.: Let me know what you think.[/Gabe Newell]
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    Post by Schnickelfritz June 28th 2012, 10:45 am

    Well, the last two words of your post tell me that this better work awesomely, because there's definitely not going to be a third one.


    Seriously, though, dis shiznit's 100% cool.
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    Post by sykog June 28th 2012, 11:14 am

    Schnickelfritz wrote:Well, the last two words of your post tell me that this better work awesomely, because there's definitely not going to be a third one.


    Seriously, though, dis shiznit's 100% cool.
    Is okay. But seriously, your stories are hundreds of types of epic. I can't wait to see your knightly duties. Salute
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    Post by Schnickelfritz June 28th 2012, 11:35 am

    sykog wrote:
    Schnickelfritz wrote:Well, the last two words of your post tell me that this better work awesomely, because there's definitely not going to be a third one.


    Seriously, though, dis shiznit's 100% cool.
    Is okay. But seriously, your stories are hundreds of types of epic. I can't wait to see your knightly duties. Salute

    You dun quoted deh rong pertsuhn.
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    Post by Moran June 28th 2012, 3:19 pm

    Schnickelfritz wrote:Well, the last two words of your post tell me that this better work awesomely, because there's definitely not going to be a third one.
    D'hohoho. Unlike Gay Ben, Schnicky, I am capable of counting to 3. I'm also capable of counting to 4, and far beyond to infinity, but generally a trilogy is all you need for something to be as epic as it can be. If not, though, we'll all be reading "The Saga of MEAN: Book 852" some day.
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    Post by Jmh June 28th 2012, 6:18 pm

    Are we the heroes Tescia needs, or the heroes it deserves?
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    Post by Moran June 28th 2012, 6:50 pm

    Whichever one is the opposite of what Batman said. (I can't remember.) He's the dark knight, after all; I imagine the order of MEAN to be much more based on white knight mentality.
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    Post by Schnickelfritz June 28th 2012, 6:54 pm

    The New Order of MEAN: The First Four Sw50sw8sw578
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    Post by 84 June 28th 2012, 6:59 pm

    Harvey Dent: A hero. Not the hero we deserved but the hero we needed. Nothing less than a knight. Shining.

    Batman: He's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him. Because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.
    Zez
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    Post by Zez July 5th 2012, 11:37 pm

    I am offend that Neo isn't in this.

    Yes, offend, not offended.

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