Jokes

    Share
    avatar
    TrueBlue52



      : Male
     Rep5

     Posts: : 369

    Jokes

    Post by TrueBlue52 on August 4th 2012, 12:04 pm

    This topic is for posting Jokes! Blonde jokes, yo momma jokes, Confucianisms, Helen Keller Jokes, and more!!

    Try to keep it clean.
    avatar
    TrueBlue52



      : Male
     Rep5

     Posts: : 369

    Re: Jokes

    Post by TrueBlue52 on August 4th 2012, 12:08 pm

    Why don't Jews eat pork?
    Spoiler:

    Jews may be a lot of things but cannibals they are not!

    avatar
    iHawk



      : Male
     Rep15

     Posts: : 218

    Re: Jokes

    Post by iHawk on August 4th 2012, 12:49 pm

    There are rumors that Hitler was allergic to apples, peanut butter and orangejews

    I've been waiting so long to use that
    avatar
    Schnickelfritz





      : Male
     Rep33

    Age: : 85
     Posts: : 2334

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Schnickelfritz on August 4th 2012, 1:29 pm

    There's this guy, name of Joe, kinda retarded, who gets a job at a factory where they sell toothbrushes. So after his first day on the job he returns to the factory with the other two employees to tell his boss how he did.

    The boss says, "Fred, how many did you sell?
    "523!"
    "Great job, Fred. Billy, how many did you sell?"
    "647!"
    "Awesome! Joe, how many did you sell?"
    With a rather interesting sounding voice, Joe replies".....I sold.... 27."
    "Hm..."said his boss. "try to to better."

    So the next day they all returned to the factory to report to their boss again.
    Same old routine.
    "Fred, how many did you sell?"
    "786!"
    "Great! Billy, you?"
    "I sold 694."
    "Well done. Joe?"
    "I sold.... 11." Again, in the funny voice.

    His boss pulled him over. "You know, Joe, you need to get better at selling these things or else you're gonna get fired." Joe nodded.

    The next day they all returned. "So, Fred, how many?"
    "986!"
    "Wow, that's better than both of your last days! Billy?"
    "927!"
    "Again, great job! Joe?"
    Joe turned to him and said "I sold...... 2,864."
    ".........what? How did you manage that, Joe?!"
    "Well," said Joe, "It was simple. I go out and I set up a stand with free chips and dip. And people walk up and I say 'free chips adnd dip' and they take some, and they're like 'wow, that tastes like shit', I said 'that's what it its, wanna buy a toothbrush?'"
    avatar
    PaytonBree



      : Female
     Rep9

    Age: : 19
     Posts: : 914

    Re: Jokes

    Post by PaytonBree on August 4th 2012, 1:58 pm

    What's the last thing that goes through your mind when you die?


    Your ass..

    Alex The Hedgehog



      : Male
     Rep1

    Age: : 24
     Posts: : 295

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Alex The Hedgehog on August 4th 2012, 2:02 pm

    knock! knock!

    who's there?

    Bacon.

    Bacon who?

    Bacon you a pizza pie!
    avatar
    Nnoitra Hushimo






      : Male
     Rep35

    Age: : 21
     Posts: : 2400

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Nnoitra Hushimo on August 4th 2012, 2:37 pm

    Chuck Norris can sneeze in 13 different languages.
    avatar
    Jmh





      : Male
     Rep67

    Age: : 22
     Posts: : 6839

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Jmh on August 4th 2012, 3:34 pm

    What killed the dinosaurs? The ice age!
    avatar
    Nnoitra Hushimo






      : Male
     Rep35

    Age: : 21
     Posts: : 2400

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Nnoitra Hushimo on August 4th 2012, 3:43 pm

    Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
    avatar
    AshuraSenku



      : Male
     Rep0

    Age: : 19
     Posts: : 68

    Re: Jokes

    Post by AshuraSenku on August 4th 2012, 4:23 pm

    Are you as bored as I am?

    Now read that backwards.
    avatar
    TrueBlue52



      : Male
     Rep5

     Posts: : 369

    Re: Jokes

    Post by TrueBlue52 on August 4th 2012, 4:36 pm

    The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message
    avatar
    TrueBlue52



      : Male
     Rep5

     Posts: : 369

    Re: Jokes

    Post by TrueBlue52 on August 4th 2012, 9:51 pm

    Mly wrote:Mlydium flopped boredly back onto his throne

    Mly's throne:
    avatar
    TrueBlue52



      : Male
     Rep5

     Posts: : 369

    Re: Jokes

    Post by TrueBlue52 on August 4th 2012, 10:49 pm

    avatar
    sykog





      : Male
     Rep29

    Age: : 23
     Posts: : 8838

    Re: Jokes

    Post by sykog on August 5th 2012, 4:32 am

    icetech5201
    The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message
    avatar
    Jmh





      : Male
     Rep67

    Age: : 22
     Posts: : 6839

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Jmh on August 5th 2012, 2:07 pm


    See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!
    avatar
    TrueBlue52



      : Male
     Rep5

     Posts: : 369

    Re: Jokes

    Post by TrueBlue52 on August 5th 2012, 2:25 pm

    A blonde, brunette, and redhead were standing on the edge of the pool ready for the 100 yard breast stroke race.

    The starter shot the pistol and the three dove into the water and began swimming.

    A few minutes later, the brunette finished and jumped out of the water. Next came the redhead.

    About twenty minutes later, the blonde emerged.

    They awarded the gold to the brunette, the silver to the redhead, and the bronze to the blonde.

    As they placed the medal around her neck, the blonde said aloud,
    "I don't want to sound like a sore loser, but I think the other two used their arms."

    Alex The Hedgehog



      : Male
     Rep1

    Age: : 24
     Posts: : 295

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Alex The Hedgehog on August 8th 2012, 10:15 am

    what do you call a dog that works at the bank?

    A Loan Wolf.
    avatar
    TrueBlue52



      : Male
     Rep5

     Posts: : 369

    Re: Jokes

    Post by TrueBlue52 on August 8th 2012, 4:31 pm

    Confucius Say
    The best way to keep your word is not to give it.

    Confucius Say
    Man who pamper his cow, will get spoiled milk

    Confucius Say
    Woman who dates gambler, gets cheated on.

    Confucius Say
    If a soda can goes to college, it will take "fizz ed".

    Confucius Say
    Just because men have one, doesn't mean they have to be one.

    Confucius Say
    A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

    Confucius Say
    Banker who sits in freezer, will have frozen assets.

    Confucius say,
    An "egghead" is what Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.

    Confucius Say...
    "Man who smoke pot, choke on handle."

    Sponsored content

    Re: Jokes

    Post by Sponsored content