Dr. Robotnik's Electronic Diary

November 21

Dear Diary,
I am Dr. Ivo Robotnik, or if you prefer short names, Dr. Eggman. I am the builder and manager of a giant project that was ultimately destroyed today, called the Death Egg. If it weren't for the pesky hedgehog I last encountered 3 months ago, the total time it took to build this Death Egg and learn the basics of building a flying machine of doom. That hedgehog, is Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog. As I'm writing this, I'm in a bad state of health. Thanks only to the waters of South Island, I barely survived the falling Egg Bomber. I'm now in this repaired version of Metropolis Zone, which I renamed Mad Gear Zone. I have a large surprise for you, my diary... my goal is to build a new Death Egg, and have it completely ready within a mere 30 days, starting from now. As my loyal badniks help me to make me healthy again, they are also helping in gathering the materials needed. But this time, I won't make it a hollow ball of death, though. I'll make it feed on the power of the planet I failed to conquer 3 months ago. Remember when I wrote to you about Little Planet? This is it! Now, do you think you can stop me, Sonic? My plan is going to be more diabolical than the last one, and it won't involve you, Knuckles. It will involve just me and, if I can get him back, Metal Sonic. I also ordered my badniks to feed Mad Gear Zone enough power for Metal to become alive again, and also build a complex machine for Metal, and only Metal.

Stay tuned my diary, as I give you more updates about the plan.

The following day...

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At last, I made a fanfiction for Sonic, and it is more Dr. Eggman-centered. Note that this is the first entry, and I have made, as far as I remember, 17 entries. I'll continue posting the others later. For now, enjoy!

Problem 1. It's Eggman's diary, if he's making it he knows who he is. Why in the hell is he saying his name? Why is he saying "stay tuned, my diary" and such shit? Is he completely freaking bonkers in the rambling madman sort of way? A perfectly fine interpretation of Eggman, for sure, but you're not showing it well. The way it lays out, it doesn't seem like that's part of Eggman's personality, it just seems like horribly awkward writing.

Problem 2. Many sentences are incomplete, make little sense, and run on. Did you honestly proofread this: "As I'm writing this, I'm in a currently bad health state, as I barely survived the falling Egg Bomber, if it weren't for the waters of South Island." ... and see nothing wrong?

Problem 3. It doesn't really capture Eggman's personality well, at all. Eggman is angry, Eggman is goofy, Eggman is an egomaniac, Eggman is a diabolical asshole, a tinkerer, and sometimes a classy gentleman in spite of all this. You've got an extremely, extremely bland and generic "bumbling scientist" personality, near as I can tell, and you're not even capturing that with any degree of success.

Mly, problem #1, it is not a problem. We're not talking about reality. If we do talk about reality, we can consider this a problem.

Problem #2. Honestly, you should read it many times before complaining lol. He's in a bad health because he barely survived the "falling" Egg Bomber. At that time in the past, it was falling, hence "falling". If it weren't for South Island's waters, he'd be doomed. Let's overlook it please?

Problem #3, this is not his actual personality. He's hurt, and he's mad over Sonic and the fail of his plan. How come he becomes goofy, angry, and whatever else, if he's hurt?

Anyways, thanks for your feedback, despite having the "100% negative feedback" with you. You can read the rest here before I upload them.

It's called constructive criticism, and if you don't take it into account every now and then and try to improve your writing, you're a moron. I like writing and reading, Pooka. I like Sonic, I like Eggman, I like stories about Eggman. And I hate to see something that could really potentially be good if you tried to improve, go completely to waste. My hatred for you aside for right now, I'm actually trying to help you write better, not complain for no reason like you seem to think.

"We're not talking about reality." Well no shit, Sherlock. We're talking about fiction. But the goal of fiction is to tell a good story, to create a good character, to create many good characters. For those characters to really pop out of the story, to be relatable, to be realistic so readers can empathize with them to some extent or another, so readers can get a feel for how they tick, what they do and why, what's going on, how everything's going.

As for problem two, my main complaint with that sentence is that the grammar is truly horribly botched.
Right: "As I'm writing this, I'm in a bad state of health. Thanks only to the waters of South Island, I barely survived the falling Egg Bomber." There are of course many other ways to word this within the limits of proper grammar, but that's an example. A sentence expresses an idea, and generally should try to make that idea clear. Your jumbled mess was awkwardly put, words were arranged awkwardly and given unclear relation to each other, and it was very confusing.

He's hurt. Yes, he survived a jet crash by the skin of his teeth, he probably can't even stand. How would that make Eggman feel, to be like that? To be so broken and weak, to be unable to so much as get up out of his bed and tinker with some electronics on a desk and see if he can make a new and improved robot, unable to do most anything he wants to? Angry as hell at Sonic, the one who did it? Despaired that he's so weak? Mind-numbingly, rage-inducingly bored from having nothing to do? Driven to heal quickly and find a way to defeat Sonic? Think like your characters would think!

Well, I can't see the point in problem #1, but I'll at least try to find another way to end a diary entry. Problem #2, I'll try to copy/paste your line when I feel like jumping to fanfiction.net as well.

Now I feel you in the problem #3 part, this is the one you explained the best. What you didn't realize though, I didn't have that much constructive criticism since the start, and until now, you're the only one who managed to pick the cons of my characterization of Dr. Eggman. I have went up like 17 entries without anybody complaining about his characterization, in fact I remember one who told me I captured his personality well.

I'm afraid that its too late for me to change the whole personality thing in the first diary chapters... but at least, I now think it is logical to let Eggman use caps and yell in his diary, and I'll use that a lot more when the events of Sonic 4 Episode I starts. At first I thought its crazy, as Sonic isn't here.

So anyways, thanks for your feedback! I'll try to improve him as you wish in the following diary entries!

... I try in honest to help you improve your writing, and you mention copy-pasting and capslock.

...

Welp. Can't have hope for the hopeless I guess. Just try to stay down here where you're relatively out of the way with your dipshittery, and don't piss me off.

Mly wrote:... I try in honest to help you improve your writing, and you mention copy-pasting and capslock.

...

Welp. Can't have hope for the hopeless I guess. Just try to stay down here where you're relatively out of the way with your dipshittery, and don't piss me off.

Duh. If you didn't want me to copy-paste, then why did you post the "right"? And if capslock is a problem, fine enough, all you had to do is mention it before I shoot and do it.

There is still hope, duh. Back to the topic I guess...? Its not like that failure that is, Sonic in Indonesia.

Don't worry... once I have enough feedback, I'll credit you and whoever else giving me feedback.

Mly wrote:There are of course many other ways to word this within the limits of proper grammar, but that's an example.

As for capslock, it's just a simple matter of brains to know automatically that capslock is generally a really bad idea, unless used VERY sporadically. See? Like I just did there. And usually it's best used only in the absence of things like this. It's a matter of brains ... which is something you seem to have a critical lack of.

G'day. Don't seek me out and bother me, I already hate you enough. You'll regret it.

I like it. I see nothing wrong with it, but that's just me. Can't wait to see the next entry!

And I just lost my internet... disabling my ability to post the other entries... dah...

Great to hear this, Heartbreaker.

November 22

   Work at last has started after my loyal badniks worked for over one whole day. I'd jump in and make even more dangerous badniks, but my health... Ahem, I'm so weak to design a new line of badniks. I can't stand and make badniks, that'll be exhausting and I may fall in exhaustion rather easily. On the other hand, because of the crazy time manipulation caused a little earlier, I have to search for Metal in the bad future of Little Planet. It is in a bad future state due to the ruined timeline, so I bet it'll be easy to take him back to the planet without time travelling back and forth. I can't do anything now but blueprint my ultimate plan, I'll give it the name of Death Egg Mk.II. The plan involves launching the old E.G.G. Station as a decoy and facade to the ultimate plan. The Death Egg Mk.II surrounds Little Planet, so it sucks all the goodness in it. I can't build it around the planet now, I must find Metal and bring him back. The materials are not ready yet for Mk.II, it is estimated to be ready in... 26 days, and I want it ready in 30 days. Actually the first Death Egg took 4 months and 15 days to gather resources as I haven't developed the badniks to their fullest yet, but it was built in 15 days. So yeah, Mk.II will be ready anyways. My diary, don't lose hope, I will crush Sonic at last!

The following day...
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Ok, here goes the second entry... As I mentioned before, this fanfic is already written, as far as December 7. Its just that I copy very slowly...

Ah, yes! Another entry! Loving it! c:

November 23

   After having a rest in my rather electronic bed for the second night, I made my badniks diagnose me to see how far I'm hurt from the explosions and the fall. I got many broken bones, the reason I always screamed in pain yesterday and why the blueprint isn't even half-way complete. Not just that, but my digestion is ruined, as I can only eat half a meal and that won't make me survive longer, unless I take a healthy meal with lots of calories to spare my lost energy. Also, some of my skin are burnt like if I saw a real fire, but I can say that they are 2nd degree burns even before the badniks said so, because I see those weird bubbles getting out of my skin, and immediately knew I must leave them as they are, and cover them from harm. I didn't see any worse than the health condition I'm in. I always succeeded in escaping Sonic after my plans failed, but this time Sonic got me. I ran away once thanks to the Egg Pod, another with it, the third time the Death Egg wasn't really destroyed and I was safe inside the Death Egg Robot. When the Death Egg fell again, I was in my Egg Pod. But this time, I forgot my Egg Pod, and the experience was very traumatic.

Gonna think of the facade plan, dear diary.

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Gonna mass post somehow... in mass double posts. I guess its OK so... Well, I'm going to do it later then with my... evil little sister.

Oh man. Eggman sounds like hes in a hard place. Or robotnik, whatever floats your boat. Nice! Lookin forward to more

November 24

   I didn't regret making my badniks help me in everything, be it doing complex calculations in a second, fixing the ruined parts found in some of my projects, and even making them great doctors. So they made a medical operation on me, and as I designed them, they disabled my senses so I don't feel the massive pain. The pain from the operation and the pain I have to put up with everyday combined, would be very deadly. I forgot, the blueprint is complete, and the badniks are gathering the resources now. The estimated time for resource collecting jumped down to 23 days, including today. I can't wait for the Death Egg Mk.II to be operational! But speaking of Little Planet...

I had a weird dream when I lost my consciousness for today's operation. It was a flashback. I was riding my Egg Pod, flying through the bad future of Stardust Speedway, with Sonic running away from my laser while racing Metal Sonic. I don't know why I'd get a flashback related to Metal, but it seems my brain is sending out a message to me. Sonic kept slowing down due to obstacles and such.

But that's for today, dear diary. Stay tuned in, maybe we can destroy the hedgehog!

The following day...
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Eggman rush! Time to give him some love!

November 25

   It was a rather nasty sleep in bed. In order to get healed faster, I must endure more pain asleep. I wish these days were over, because I can't even think of what new badniks I can introduce to Sonic. I found out I have... way too many unused Blue Bubbles... They are somehow degraded now, standing in place, and the spikes doesn't come out either. I have no choice but to ditch them for Sonic to destroy, then my badniks can grab those animals again in even greater totals and convert them to more useful badniks.

Interestingly, I found most of my old inventions. How did they survive, I don't know. But I see the Death Egg Robot, one of my best machines ever. I can tweak it a little in time after I get healed for the plan. But for now, I can only watch, see, decide, and save the plans for later. I can't even start them now due to my health. It is assumed that I'm going to get better in 5 days, so I must continue enduring all that heavy pain, and I'll be back to full system. And full power! Oh, I just got an idea for the Death Egg Robot. I'm waiting for tomorrow to see how everything goes.

The following day...

November 26

   Metal Sonic's powering machine is almost 1/4 complete. I just need more energy, and power plants... They're the reason why I built Metropolis in the first place. To power up Wing Fortress. This time, its time for Metal to get repowered for my pla- AWW! Another instant feeling of pain in my stomach! Aww... It isn't as strong as yesterday's, but still I can't handle it. However, I am feeling better, at last. Maybe I'm able to plan for a few new badniks but that's just it. Designing would require putting the landscape into consideration, the way it attacks Sonic, the way it will handle Sonic's spin attack, the move that requires bumpers to prevent, and those are the stuff that I always save for later.


I had another dream, this time in Doomsday, seeing the tragic fall again, and the events that placed me in the current condition. But this time, I saw the Death Egg getting exploded. Now I'm unsure why I'm having dreams about the past, but am I getting them for a reason? Are they sending me a message? I don't know, but the dreams seems to be interesting and strange.


I'll decode the messages later, and will tell you about the messages later.

The following day...

November 27

   The first dream seems to be telling me that Metal Sonic is anywhere on that speedway, especially the one he raced the pesky Sonic on. It also seemed to tell me that Metal is almost powerless to the point he'd need a shock to wake up. The powering machine was merely made to provide him some extra energy after he gets back, but now I must also provide him the energy to fly back to the planet. This is a big problem standing in my way and there must be some way around it somehow. I've sent some of my badniks to help me find where Metal is exactly, and plan for his return to the planet.


Its also the end of the month, and the pain is getting easier on me. Ahh, at least I'll be fine by then. Uh-oh, I hear some jet noises around my place. Usually jets don't go near the island but why did I just hear them, I don't know. I fear they may be planning against me, or even use surprises against me if they are sent out to hunt me down. The volume is disappearing, the sound seems to be heading to Casino Street Zone, the bait I prepared for Sonic's next visit to me. What are they going to do with it?


I'm closing all operations in Mad Gear to remain safe and sound, or shall I say, safe than sorry!
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That's it for today.