Ashley the Hedgehog

Jared gave Ashley a high five, and then the ghost boy motioned to the telephone. Ashley nodded, and dialed her current boyfriend's number.
"Hello?" Will answered in a bored tone.
"Will!" Ashley screamed into the phone, and then apologized for hurting his ears.
"Ash? Where are you?" Will asked.
"I'm at the club house," she said. "I escapez."
Will chuckled at her improper-grammar humor, and returned to the original topic.
"I saw the news," he said. "Well, I'd like to give Sammy the tour, but if she sees you we're going straight to prison."
"I know," Ashley sighed. "We'll just have to wait a little, I guess. Do you have any word on my brother?"
"Yes," Will said, excitedly. "He should be out tomorrow."
"That's great news. We just have to get him to come here," Ashley said, looking at all the pros and cons of the situation.
"I'm sure he will. He knows that you're not going to go dashing home."
"Well, he's usually pretty stupid..." Ashley teased.
"Of course; of course," Will said, and there was indistinct shouting coming from his line.
Will returned to his phone. "Ash, I gotta go. Amber needs me, and...stuff."
"Okay," Ashley said. She hung up, and turned around. No one else was in the room.
An instinct in her head told her to hide, and she followed it.
Seconds after she had ducked behind a shelf, two men jumped down the shaft in the ceiling, each with guns.
"They could be hiding," one man said in a gruff voice. "Get a thermal. Now, I'll search."
Crap, Ashley thought. They're about to find me and my weaponry.

Ash The Hedgehog wrote:Jared gave Ashley a high five, and then the ghost boy motioned to the telephone. Ashley nodded, and dialed her current boyfriend's number.
"Hello?" Will answered in a bored tone.
"Will!" Ashley screamed into the phone, and then apologized for hurting his ears.
"Ash? Where are you?" Will asked.
"I'm at the club house," she said. "I escapez."
Will chuckled at her improper-grammar humor, and returned to the original topic.
"I saw the news," he said. "Well, I'd like to give Sammy the tour, but if she sees you we're going straight to prison."
"I know," Ashley sighed. "We'll just have to wait a little, I guess. Do you have any word on my brother?"
"Yes," Will said, excitedly. "He should be out tomorrow."
"That's great news. We just have to get him to come here," Ashley said, looking at all the pros and cons of the situation.
"I'm sure he will. He knows that you're not going to go dashing home."
"Well, he's usually pretty stupid..." Ashley teased.
"Of course; of course," Will said, and there was indistinct shouting coming from his line.
Will returned to his phone. "Ash, I gotta go. Amber needs me, and...stuff."
"Okay," Ashley said. She hung up, and turned around. No one else was in the room.
An instinct in her head told her to hide, and she followed it.
Seconds after she had ducked behind a shelf, two men jumped down the shaft in the ceiling, each with guns.
"They could be hiding," one man said in a gruff voice. "Get a thermal. Now, I'll search."
Crap, Ashley thought. They're about to find me and my weaponry.

Heheheh. "I escapez." You gotta love improper grammar. The plot is flowing nicely. :D

Ashley counted the seconds as the first man scanned the room, and checked in all the nooks and crannies of the room. She drew in a sharp but silent breath as he passed her makeshift hiding place, and she knew there was some force of luck on her side.
"I don't see anything," man one said to his comrade.
"Well, we have to do a thermal sweep," the commander of the two ordered.
"Fine, fine, whatever. There's just a lot of ground to cover here," man one said, pulling out a thermal imager. Perhaps, she could run fast enough to get out before they saw her. They were facing each other now, and she could probably make it. When she was sure that they were submerged in discussions of their proper orders, she made a run for it.
She failed.
"Stop! By order of the law, stop!" the first man commanded, pulling the taser out of its holster by his front pocket.
Ashley frowned, and wondered which way she should take this out. Fight them? Act rude? Act cute, and confused? Yes, she would claim that she had been threatened by men with guns in the middle of the night, and they ordered her to leave the hospital. If she didn't, they would return to her hospital room and shoot her. As soon as she got out the back door, they were there waiting for her and they brought her here. It all seemed completely reasonable, because sometimes there just wasn't a better explanation for crazy things.
"Your name?" man two said. It was more of an order than a question, so she responded in as shaky a voice as she could pull out of her throat.
"Ashley," she said shakily.
"How did you escape from the hospital and get here?" the first man said, already armed with his taser in one hand and his gun in the other.
"I...I was threatened," she stammered.
"By who?" the man continued.
"Some dude isn't going to point a gun at me and then tell me who he is," Ashley said. "I mean, that would be plain stupid. Like the robber who told the victim who to write the check to."
"Don't be fresh with us, young lady," one of the guards snapped; she had lost track of the numbers she had given them, as their 0.32 guns stood as much more of a threat than forgetting their names.
"I'm very sorry," Ashley apologized. "I'm just scared."
"Then come with us," the guard closest to her said in a new, gruff tone, and grabbed her shoulder as they led themselves out of the base.

Man, she was so close to freedom too.

Ash The Hedgehog wrote:Prologue: Monday, January 25, 2010
Ashley the Hedgehog's point of view

Two paces after entering my house, I knew there was a different air to it. Though it was a foreign smell, it was comforting. A few seconds later, I recognized the scent as lavender. As I arrived in the family room, I was surprised to see my brother, Sonic

Be More Original.

TFF should try harder at pretending that he actually cares about this fanfic.

Sorry, but it's obvious.

-AiRLiGHTSPEEDBLAST- wrote:

Ash The Hedgehog wrote:Prologue: Monday, January 25, 2010
Ashley the Hedgehog's point of view

Two paces after entering my house, I knew there was a different air to it. Though it was a foreign smell, it was comforting. A few seconds later, I recognized the scent as lavender. As I arrived in the family room, I was surprised to see my brother, Sonic

Be More Original.

TFF should try harder at pretending that he actually cares about this fanfic.

Sorry, but it's obvious.

This is exactly why we need protection: does it occur to you that I spend at least an hour each day to work on new chapters?

She followed the men into the car, and she decided to sit in the far back. A couple minutes after they began to drive, Ashley suddenly felt very tired. She unbuckled herself, lay down, and fell asleep.
Ashley woke up back in the hospital, and she wondered if this would ever end. She stared at the wall for a while until a knock on the door startled her. Ashley walked carefully to the door, and opened it.
"You still have visiting hours," Sonic said, picking up his relatively little sister and wrapping her in his arms.
"I hate it here. Can't you do anything to have them let me out? I'm sure that we have enough money to bribe them," Ashley said the first part loudly enough for the nurses to hear, but kept the bribing idea at a low whisper.
"I'm not sure. We're working on it; they just let me out," Sonic explained, and they sat on her bed together.
"Why am I here?" Ashley asked, as if she didn't already know.
"Because you don't bleed," he whispered in response.
A frown struck Ashley's face, and then she turned back to her brother.
"Let's go talk to them," she said.
He nodded, as if it would work, to encourage his sister that she would get out of here soon.
The two walked out of the room, and up to the desk.
"I want to leave," Ashley told the male attendant.

Meh, this is ok.

Well, thank you for your feedback. Very glad to see that you've told me your honest opinion.