XNinjaRed's thought about Potential Zombie Apocalypses

I'm seriously wondering what people find so scary about zombies?
I mean, sure they are decaying corpses, but so are most old men.
(warning, XNinjaRed does NOT think Old men are actually zombies. He DOES however find them very similar)

They are slow as heck and walking for them is so awkward that I think they'd just trip the moment you push them.

That's another thing, how do you expect them to get out of their coffins? I mean sure they might be able to get out of the ground if someone buries someone alive, but then he's still have to get through the giant amount of sand, which is really heavy and I doupt a decaying corpse will be able to bury through. The coffins CAN'T be broken with bare hands. Mythbusters proved that!

Now if you're going with the theory of it being an experiment gone wrong, okay, then why are we still afraid anyway? Their corpse are still decaying and you can easily kick them and their bodies will break into pieces.

Unless they somehow are stronger then humans which if you think about it doesn't make sense...

Sure a zombie should be immortal, but not stronger then a human. Their main threat is carrying a virus which turns other people into zombies. It's as easy as that, DON'T get bitten. It's really as easy as it sounds! I told my brother to try biting me. Every time he did I puched him in the face, and the time where he nearly got a bite I pretty much accidentally would've punched his jaw off if he were a zombie.
(warning, XNinjaRed does NOT recommend testing these things on their brothers. He DOES however find it very educational)

You know what, that's it! Punch off their jaws! They can't bite if they have now Jaw. Sure they can lean their upper teeth on your arm, but I don't think that will make the teeth enter your skin.

Now people say their main threat is numbers. Look this isn't some RPG where you can only hit one enemy at a time. Grab a stick and hit them all at the same time. Heck I think a well timed Kick would do just fine. If you want to be REALLY safe, do as I an buy a Katana. Because Katanas are cool.

Now here's the only problem, what if you're cornered somehow.
Well my answer is, if you got outsmarted by zombies, then you DESERVE to be cornered by them.
(warning, XNinjaRed does NOT really think so, People can have legitimate reasons for that to happen. He still however finds it stupid)

Now I've just proven zombies CAN'T come and that if they DO that they won't be a threat. What makes people so scared of them?

Now if they were fast for some reason like Left 4 Dead, then I have this answer.

Kick.

Seriously, zombies are and will forever be decaying corpses. And decaying corpses break easily. I know because I just buried my grandpa out of his grave and and punched him. His head was in pieces.
(warning, XNinjaRed does NOT condone violence against grandpas. He DOES however find it hilarious)

So if they're fast, that simplifies matters. Now you don't need to run yourself. You can simply put your leg out and they'll run into your leg one by one. Zombies are stupid. I'd know because humanity is stupid, and humanity is what zombies derive from.
(warning, XNinjaRed does NOT think humanity is stupid... ... ... Actually yes, he DOES think so...)

So if there ever be a Zombie Apocalypse, I just wanna say that we humans as stupid as we are are able to take on the stupidity of Zombies. If you don't agree, chances are you're a zombie and I must kill you. Please leave your address on this topic so I can kill you properly if so. Then again a zombie is too stupid to do those things. So if you DON'T write your address:

What if it is an airborne virus and is contaigous? Breathing the wrong air could prove infectious.

Well then it's the fault of the idiot who made the virus in the first place.

*cocks gun*
Let's kill the effer!

You're thinking about zombies as if this was a video game.

Well, it sounds good on paper.

But look, humans got something that zombies don't. And it's something you have not factored in.

FEAR.

Your little brother comes to bite you, you punch him away. When a rotting carcass of a dead human hurls itself at you, will you be able to do the same? Will you be willing to put your hands or feet anywhere near the zombie?

Think about guard dogs. They race towards you with only their teeth. If it was so easy to fend off, they'd be useless. But the fact is, people can't just punch away animals like that. Try punching away a bear or a shark. It just doesn't work.

Weapons. Guns need ammo. Although much of America owns guns, you can only kill a zombie by blowing off its brain. Now think. How many people can make a headshot at a moving target (which even may be the corpse of a family member). FRAK NO. They're gonna crap their pants, fire off a few shots, then run like hell.

Oh swords. Great. Swords are freakin' heavy. It's not like the movies where you can swing all day all night. I practice kendo, so I know how tired your arms get after a few hours (and that's with a wooden sword). Besides, as you tire, you won't be able to cleanly cut a zombie head. You'll eventually get your sword stuck in its skull and then you're screwed.

The thing about numbers is that, well, there's a lot of them. But guess what. Every time they bite, one of us becomes one of them.

Stupidity? Are you kidding? Have you seen the internet/government? Do you really put that much faith in our ability to make intelligent decisions in times of crisis?
Anyway, disregarding that, stupidity is not a weakness of zombies. Sure, we can probably get high ground and run. But when it comes down to survival instincts, we lose. Why? 'Cause zombies don't need survival nonsense. They're frakin' zombies. They just kill kill kill kill kill.

We have... emotions. Greed and sympathy are the main ones here. Can we as a nation gun down our zombified friends and family? Can we gun down little zombie children? Can we learn to share resources and info? Or will we fall apart to every man for himself, steal what you can and run?
Now that is true stupidity. It is mankind's curse.

We can kill them as much as we want, but zombies don't need food. Zombies don't have morale issues. Zombies don't need sleep. Zombies don't get tired. Zombies know no fear.

Conclusion: In the event of a zombie apocalypse, America is SCREWED.

P.S. Have you read World War Z? Go. Now.

Omnihush wrote:Try punching away a bear or a shark. It just doesn't work.

Click and read pl0x.

You're right. The best way to prevent genocide by zombies is to drowning ourselves in alcohol.

Omnihush wrote:You're right. The best way to prevent genocide by zombies is to drowning ourselves in alcohol.

Not exactly what I was trying to prove, but alcohol might just be the answer.

You mentioned Left 4 Dead. Let's say that we come face to face with a tank...

We're screwed.

Take an AK-47 or Uzi and start rapid firing at all of their heads. Problem solved, Ring.

Zezima wrote:Take an AK-47 or Uzi and start rapid firing at all of their heads. Problem solved, Ring.

I've never held an AK-47, much less shot one. You hand me one and I'm just as likely to shoot my foot than to blow off a zombie head. And I don't know about you, but I'd rather not see an exploding head up close, dead or ali-wait, no, just dead.
In real world, real danger environment, no one but the pros would actually be able to pull off consecutive headshots. Arming civilians would just hasten our doom.

Now, give me a controller and pop in RE4, that's a different story.

I'm almsot certain, when it's a life or death situation your adrenaline rush will enhance your strength and stability long enough to buy you some time and wack off a couple hundred heads. Also; Who cares if the heads are exploding? Your head versus a dead, rotting, life-threating head that has aims to consume you immediately. Pretty easy decision there.

Zezima wrote:I'm almsot certain, when it's a life or death situation your adrenaline rush will enhance your strength and stability long enough to buy you some time and wack off a couple hundred heads. Also; Who cares if the heads are exploding? Your head versus a dead, rotting, life-threating head that has aims to consume you immediately. Pretty easy decision there.

Some people will get the adrenaline rush and want to fill a zombie with holes.
MOST people will just ir in their pants and run.

But this adrenaline excitement will soon wear off when you realize that it's not just one or two zombies. It's an ARMY of zombies. And eventually all that blood will make even the vets queezy.

Besides, aiming is hard with a submachine gun. Untrained people, especially young ones like you and me, would be unable to handle the kickback for long periods of time. The head of a zombie at a distance is a really really hard to hit target. Especially when it's moving. This ain't laser tag. This is the zombie apocalypse.

Also, when did they invent the unlimited ammo gun?

Oh, crap. You got me reall good with that post. Okay, what if the Army were to combat the Zombie army? That has ended a multiple of zombie movies. We could gather world forces and all army powers and have an ary to army face off. I'm sure the living, trained, and quite numerous multitudes of firearm weilding soldiers should combat slower than granny with a broken hip walking deteriorating corpses.

I guess that could work. But only if the zombies decided to all gather in one place for some reason. But if they were spread out among us, the army might resort to... drastic measures. That happens in movies too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_war_z
Great book. It can get really political.
One part. I'm gonna quote Wiki on this one.

"The United States Army sends a task force to Yonkers, New York, in a high-profile military campaign intended to restore American morale, but due to reliance on ineffective Cold War-era tactics, and advanced technology that is ineffective against zombies, the force is routed."

The fact is, our current military equipment is based around anti-HUMAN. Not anit-zombie. Things like shrapnel and missiles simply don't work because zombies are immune to flash and heat. Then there's the matter of damage/cost and the fact that tanks and planes are pretty much useless 'cause last time I checked, zombies don't fly and zombies don't drive armored vehicles.