Good advice, bad advice

The rules are simple. You simply say a problem, and the person below you gives you two kinds of advice: Good and bad. It's your choice to make them funny or if you're actually being serious. Then the person below you adds a problem.

Example:

Sample1-

My cat is being annoying.

Sample2-

Good: Take it outside.

Bad: Shoot it.

Problem: My leg hurts.

Sample3-

Good: Put ice on it.

Bad: Punch it and yell "STOP HURTING!!"

Problem: I'm having a hard time studying for my English test.

Etc.

I'll start. (Duh)

Problem: I seem to always have trouble sleeping at night.

Good advice: Don't eat sweets before bed.
Bad advice: Drink coffee.

---

I am addicted to music.

Good: Search "RainyMood" and use the sound of rain instead. (I love that site.)

Bad: Start a karaoke night at the White House.

Problem: I'm having a very cruddy Summer.

Good: Go to a movie
Bad: Watch the news

Problem: My head hurts

Good advice: Take some aspirin and put on a cold pack.
Bad advice: Bang your head against the wall.

Problem: My wireless connection is very slow.

Good advice: Go on low bandwith sites
Bad advice: Don't go online.

Problem: My hair's messed up

Good: Brush it.

Bad: Place a wet rat in it.

Problem: We got a noise complaint from the neighbors and got some of our firecrackers taken away.

Good: Apologise to them
Bad: Shout at them

Problem: My hair's not long enough

Good: Be patient and let it grow out.

Bad: Shave it and wear a Hatsune Miku wig for the rest of your life.

Problem: I don't wanna wake up early after this long day. DX

Good advice: Get up

Bad advice: Sleep forever

Problem: My back hurts

Good: Have somebody rub it.

Bad: Punch it and yell "STOP HURTING!!""

Problem: I have to mow the lawn tomorrow, and it's a lot of work.

Good: Do it
Bad: Don't do it.

Problem: I need to shave

Good: Acquire a good-quality razor, some shaving gel and aftershave. Use as directed.

Bad: Acquire a rabid squirrel to chew at hair.

Problem: I constantly procrastinate.

Good: Nurture your young.
Bad: Leave them!

Problem: I'm bloated.

Good: Rest and don't eat for a while.

Bad: Eat macaroni 'til you explode.

Problem: I keep losing all my friends one by one, and I dunno why. :(

Good: Keep in communication with your friends.

Bad: Play very mean pranks on them all.

Problem: It's very hot outside.

Good: Take a drink
Bad: Run around naked

Problem: My hair's untidy.

Good: Brush it.
Bad: Burn it all off.

Problem: My computer is total crap.

Good: Buy a new one
Bad: Sit and mope

Problem: I feel lonely

Good: Make some friends
Bad: Drink some bleach you sad and pathetic excuse for a person

Problem: I'm all out of cheese... so lost without you...

Good:Buy some more
Bad: Steal some.

Problem: Nobody likes me...

Good: I like you!
Bad: YOUSUCKGODIE

Problem: I cant find my pants

Good: Steal someone else's
Bad: Walk around with none on.

Problem: My stomach hurts.

Good: take an antacid and drink some water.
Bad: remove your stomach from your body.

Problem: My desk chair is very uncomfortable.

Good: Get a new one
Bad: Steal one

Problem: I don't have enough free time