Rants with Schnicky!

Welcome, come one, come all, welcome to: Rants with Schnicky! I'm Schniky, if you haven't guessed, and every day I'll be bringing a high quality rant to you that you won't want to miss! Anyway, todays rant is on.......


THE NEWSPAPER! Yes, you heard me right, the newspaper. Many of us take for granted this beautiful creation. The newspaper is vital for common society. For example, without it, we wouldn't get well known internet images like this, which can be added to any situation to make it humorous, but we can of course become well-versed on current events. The newspaper is also a symbol for knowledge. After all, can one be knowledgeable without knowing what is going on in the world? Look at the man in the above picture, he is obviously smarter than you and is very immersed in his act of reading the newspaper, and would very much like you to stop whatever act of interruption you may be doing, so he can continue his process of enlightenment. Can't you just see in his eyes that he is smarter than you? Yes. Yes you can. The reason we get the newspaper, is, of course, because of our extraordinary Paperboy. Now, the paperboy has a heck of a job delivering the newspaper, as he has to dodge boxes on the sidewalk and avoid grannys bathing in their driveway in order to get the job done, whilst riding his bike and throwing papers to the correct houses. Please, do a help to this poor boy, and paint your house black when you would no longer like to receive this wonderful token of knowledge and human achievement. Thank you, and good day.

This concludes today's episode of Rants with Schnicky. Tune in next time for Schnicky's rant on flowers!

Hilarious, Matty. Hilarious.

But waaaaaait. So, that guy is looking at me to make me put my egg roll down?

50 rings to the first person who gets my reference at the end if anyone can guess it by tomorrow.

That was good. Yup.

The end is a reference to Paperboy. Houses that don't want a paper are black, and houses that cancel subscriptions turn black. I only got to Tuesday a few times, but never made it to Wednesday.

Nicely done. I've gotten to Thursday, but I got run over by a UPS guy.

Well, guys, I was so excited about the weekend's episode that I couldn't wait to post it. Hope you enjoy it.

Welcome back to Rants with Schnicky! I'm your host, and today I'm going to talk to you about flowers. Yes, flowers. You pick them. You grow them. You smell them. You look at them. If you're really hungry, you eat them. Yes, flowers play an important role in our lives, due to the fact that they are totally useless. This is why they intrigue me. They are so useless, and yet they are used on so many occasions and in so many different situations, it's not even funny. EXAMPLE: Say you are walking down the road on the way to the Cheese Shop(you shouldn't bother, they don't have any cheese), and you see a nice rosebush on the side of the road. More than 90% of the time, you will, as the saying goes, 'stop and smell the roses'. Now, you will most likely A, smell nothing, B, get a bee sting on your nose, C, get a noseful of pollen, or D, all of the above. However, you may never even wonder, 'Why did I just waste 3.4 seconds of my life doing absolutely nothing useful?' Usually, you will thinking something along the lines of: 'hm.' This is why flowers baffle me. Among this uselessness, they have other stupid non-purposes. Such as, EXAMPLE: Today is: your anniversary/wife's birthday/sister's birthday/other significant female's birthday/Mother's day/Valentine's day, and yes, you forgot. So, you get up early in the morning and zip across the street to the grocery store, buying not just one, but bundles of the useless petals attached to green sticks! For money! Then, you give them to your significant other, and they say, 'oh, they're beautiful', and shove them in a vase, never to be thought of again until they turn brown, start smelling like urine, and must be thrown out, in three days. Their extreme uselessness has made several companies rich through the exchange of money for stupid uselessness. Their final non-purpose is solely to make things look nice. Nothing says 'good romance scene' in a movie than skipping through a meadow of flowers. Don't get me wrong, it's better than a field of turds, but they both have about the same ratio of usefulness. Now, as I conclude today's episode, I'd like you to try to think of any situation in which flowers are of any use. If you can come up with anything that I can't come up with a better solution to, you'll get 25 rings. Tune in on Monday for my rant on narcissism!

Thank you all, and Live to you on Saturday Night! (I've always wanted to say that).

Some flowers, as you said, can be eaten, making them good for food or surviving if you happen to get stuck in the wilderness. Or, they could kill you, but either way.

Also, flowers are extremely important for bees. Get rid of the flowers, there will a huge decrease in the bee population(or even extinction), and therefor a huge decrease of oh so wonderful honey.

Flowers are important for oxygen production as well, as they're plants which can fit in much smaller places than bushes and trees, and can also plant themselves much closer together with other plant life than a tree or some bushes, since they need less nutrients and water, and have smaller roots normally.

That's all I've got.

Your next rant should be about cheese.

I'm planning a weekend special on Cheese. Next it's narcissism.

@SRZ: 1. Yes, but they taste terrible and you might as well eat bugs if you're in the wilderness.
2. Bess are mean, and honey makes you fat.
3. Weeds are much better for oxygen production and can be much smaller, and algae as well.

Will you do a rant on Twilight soon, Schnicky?

Schnicky Hushimo wrote:Well, guys, I was so excited about the weekend's episode that I couldn't wait to post it. Hope you enjoy it.

Welcome back to Rants with Schnicky! I'm your host, and today I'm going to talk to you about flowers. Yes, flowers. You pick them. You grow them. You smell them. You look at them. If you're really hungry, you eat them. Yes, flowers play an important role in our lives, due to the fact that they are totally useless. This is why they intrigue me. They are so useless, and yet they are used on so many occasions and in so many different situations, it's not even funny. EXAMPLE: Say you are walking down the road on the way to the Cheese Shop(you shouldn't bother, they don't have any cheese), and you see a nice rosebush on the side of the road. More than 90% of the time, you will, as the saying goes, 'stop and smell the roses'. Now, you will most likely A, smell nothing, B, get a bee sting on your nose, C, get a noseful of pollen, or D, all of the above. However, you may never even wonder, 'Why did I just waste 3.4 seconds of my life doing absolutely nothing useful?' Usually, you will thinking something along the lines of: 'hm.' This is why flowers baffle me. Among this uselessness, they have other stupid non-purposes. Such as, EXAMPLE: Today is: your anniversary/wife's birthday/sister's birthday/other significant female's birthday/Mother's day/Valentine's day, and yes, you forgot. So, you get up early in the morning and zip across the street to the grocery store, buying not just one, but bundles of the useless petals attached to green sticks! For money! Then, you give them to your significant other, and they say, 'oh, they're beautiful', and shove them in a vase, never to be thought of again until they turn brown, start smelling like urine, and must be thrown out, in three days. Their extreme uselessness has made several companies rich through the exchange of money for stupid uselessness. Their final non-purpose is solely to make things look nice. Nothing says 'good romance scene' in a movie than skipping through a meadow of flowers. Don't get me wrong, it's better than a field of turds, but they both have about the same ratio of usefulness. Now, as I conclude today's episode, I'd like you to try to think of any situation in which flowers are of any use. If you can come up with anything that I can't come up with a better solution to, you'll get 25 rings. Tune in on Monday for my rant on narcissism!

Thank you all, and Live to you on Saturday Night! (I've always wanted to say that).

I DO! Okay, so there's a robber. He's robbing your house. You try to stop him, but he brought an alien blaster with him. So what do you do? You throw a pot of roses at him. He is, surprisingly, allergic to roses, and he faints and has these huge bumps on his face. You call 911, he gets sent to the hospital, and you get cheese.

SonicFanPS2 wrote:

Schnicky Hushimo wrote:Well, guys, I was so excited about the weekend's episode that I couldn't wait to post it. Hope you enjoy it.

Welcome back to Rants with Schnicky! I'm your host, and today I'm going to talk to you about flowers. Yes, flowers. You pick them. You grow them. You smell them. You look at them. If you're really hungry, you eat them. Yes, flowers play an important role in our lives, due to the fact that they are totally useless. This is why they intrigue me. They are so useless, and yet they are used on so many occasions and in so many different situations, it's not even funny. EXAMPLE: Say you are walking down the road on the way to the Cheese Shop(you shouldn't bother, they don't have any cheese), and you see a nice rosebush on the side of the road. More than 90% of the time, you will, as the saying goes, 'stop and smell the roses'. Now, you will most likely A, smell nothing, B, get a bee sting on your nose, C, get a noseful of pollen, or D, all of the above. However, you may never even wonder, 'Why did I just waste 3.4 seconds of my life doing absolutely nothing useful?' Usually, you will thinking something along the lines of: 'hm.' This is why flowers baffle me. Among this uselessness, they have other stupid non-purposes. Such as, EXAMPLE: Today is: your anniversary/wife's birthday/sister's birthday/other significant female's birthday/Mother's day/Valentine's day, and yes, you forgot. So, you get up early in the morning and zip across the street to the grocery store, buying not just one, but bundles of the useless petals attached to green sticks! For money! Then, you give them to your significant other, and they say, 'oh, they're beautiful', and shove them in a vase, never to be thought of again until they turn brown, start smelling like urine, and must be thrown out, in three days. Their extreme uselessness has made several companies rich through the exchange of money for stupid uselessness. Their final non-purpose is solely to make things look nice. Nothing says 'good romance scene' in a movie than skipping through a meadow of flowers. Don't get me wrong, it's better than a field of turds, but they both have about the same ratio of usefulness. Now, as I conclude today's episode, I'd like you to try to think of any situation in which flowers are of any use. If you can come up with anything that I can't come up with a better solution to, you'll get 25 rings. Tune in on Monday for my rant on narcissism!

Thank you all, and Live to you on Saturday Night! (I've always wanted to say that).

I DO! Okay, so there's a robber. He's robbing your house. You try to stop him, but he brought an alien blaster with him. So what do you do? You throw a pot of roses at him. He is, surprisingly, allergic to roses, and he faints and has these huge bumps on his face. You call 911, he gets sent to the hospital, and you get cheese.

I'd rather spray him with my lawn hose and he'd drown. @Mercy, yes, I suppose I could take some suggwstions. I'll se if I can fit that in on Wednesday.

You a hater.

Schnicky Hushimo wrote:I'm planning a weekend special on Cheese. Next it's narcissism.

@SRZ: 1. Yes, but they taste terrible and you might as well eat bugs if you're in the wilderness.
2. Bess are mean, and honey makes you fat.
3. Weeds are much better for oxygen production and can be much smaller, and algae as well.

Exactly what kind of reason is that?

Sorry, viewers, I'll have to postpone today's scheduled rant on account of this rather bad flu I've got. I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Schnicky Hushimo wrote:Sorry, viewers, I'll have to postpone today's scheduled rant on account of this rather bad flu I've got. I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Hope you feel better, Matty.

All right, here goes, today's rant on narcissism! I'm your host, and today I'm going to give you my opinion on narcissism. Now, I got this inspiration from my rant on flowers and thought of one use, and that is giving us narcissism. After all, in the Greek myth, Narcissus was a very conceited young fellow who every girl swooned over, but he rejected them all. He met this woman named Echo in the woods who had been cursed by Hera to only mimic and not be able to talk herself. He rejected her as well, so she went to die in a cave and yell back at people. He was also cursed and stared at his own reflection in a puddle, captivated by his sexiness, and he turned into a flower that now bends over ponds that we know as the narcissus. Well, to me, there's two main types of narcissism and one special type only showcased by one person. The first main one, and most famous one, is the 'I'm better than you all and I act passive aggressive to you so you all bow down and think I'm superior' type of narcissism. This is also the most annoying type, and in fact, most people don't even notice it, they just learn to live with it. Two well-known people who have this type are Barack Obama and Mly. The other type is similar to the last one, but a little different. It's the 'I'm better than you and we both know it but I don't showcase it and instead we laugh about it and have fun with it even though we know I will win' type. Army and Sykog have this type. The last type is the 'I'm so awesome because I love cheese and cheese loves me back and you're just jealous because you're not special' type. you can guess who has this. Well, that's about it for this little rant, sorry I couldn't do more because of my sickness. Tune in tomorrow for my rant on..... SOMETHING THAT IS TO BE DETERMINED!

DISCLAIMER: The user(s)/people represented in this rant are purely non-fictional but are in no way meant to take offense (except maybe Obama) and if they do take offense they can't take a good joke and shouldn't be on a public forum.

You always find a way to crack me up, Matt.

Sorry guys, again, I'll have to postpone today's rant until further notice for my ailment, I haven't had time to think of anything.

Well guys, now it's time for the long awaited for today's rant, which is on....

THE SHOELACE! yes, the shoelace. I'm sure all of you have had at least one experience with a shoelace. They are generally used for the act of binding one's shoes to one's feet, which, though a much overlooked job, is one to admire. After all, if you didn't have any object with which to bind your shoes, they would just fall off your feet! And in the words of Sonic the Hedgehog, 'that's no good.' They are incredibly useful, unlike flowers, and can be used in a variety of situations. A shoelace is made up of pretty much a good-length piece of string, with a plastic or metal tip on the end called an aglet. (Obviously, my computer has never seen Phineas and Ferb, as it's saying that's not a word) Without the aglet, the shoelace would become frayed, and untyable! and if you couldn't use your shoelace, you'd be barefoot! Now, about the history of the shoelace. I know absolutely nothing about the history of the shoelace, so, moving on. Now, there are many uses for a shoelace, it can be used for tying things together, choking someone, lassoing a nice piece of cheese, picking your nose, picking someone else's nose, etc.. If you ask me, the shoelace is the fourth most important thing in any traveler's backpack. first being a towel, second a pocketknife, and fourth a good block of cheddar cheese. the shoelace is a poorly overlooked invention of man, and gets much less publicity than it deserves. Also, notice, if you will, that none of the Sonic characters have shoelaces. Because their shoes never come off, I have come to the conclusion that the shoes ARE their feet, but that's another story. But, if you ask me (which no one did, but whatever), if they gave Sonic shoelaces, his franchise would go up in popularity. But that's just me. One of the best uses for the shoelace, is, I think, the amount of excses you can get from it, like, "what? You got hit by a truck? Oh, I didn't save you because I couldn't see as I was TYING ME SHOELACE!" or "what? that was due TODAY? I didn't see the board, I was TYING MY SHOELACE!" The possibilities are endless! Well, that's the best rant I could muster from my sickness, and I would appreciate a suggestion for a topic for tomorrow's rant. Just, follow the four R's: Random, Readable, Really good, and Rant-worthy. Thank you for reading.

All right guys, I'm finally starting to get over my ailment, so I'm going to begin the rant that you've all been waiting for. My weekend special on.....

CHEESE! Cheese is the very essence of awesomeness, the purest of pures. Cheese is amazingly superbly cool. that's why I've taken up my hobby of cheese connoisseurship. Cheese connoisseurship is a vastly overlooked hobby, mainly because not many people have the ability to understand why people like cheese so much, like myself. Well, the main reason why I like cheese is because it's an astounding food. It's created basically out of mold, and yet it tastes so good. The weird thing is, you'd expect all cheese to be pretty much the same, because all milk is pretty much the same. But, you can add flavors, take away certain elements, and change it any way you like it. But it's a delicate balance if you go overboard, you'll end up with a disgustingly overflavored cheese, but if you be calm with it, you risk having a boring cheese. It's like a war within itself, which is why I respect it so much. there are two main types of cheeses. There are the solo cheeses first. These are the cheeses that take the stage for themselves. They usually go on things like crackers or bread, but you are mainly eating it for the cheese. These are usually sharp cheeses with a lot of flavor, like cheddar, havarti, or sometimes Monterey Jack. The other type is the group cheeses, which go on other things to add flavor to them. Examples of this type are usually calm cheeses that add just the right amount of stuff, like Parmesan on pasta, or mozzarella on pizza. They go alright by themselves, but they're better on other things. Well, I'm going to tell you about a few cheeses. The first one is Swiss. At first, when I got into my hobby, I wasn't a big fan of Swiss. I generally avoided it, and I didn't really like it, but I didn't know why. I decided I'd have to try to like it, as it is of course the stereotypical cheese, so I had to give it a shot. After trying it together with multiple different combinations, I realized my problem: I didn't like it because I was trying very hard not to like it. I'm one to dislike stereotypes, and I didn't want to be stereotypical. for this same reason I dislike such things as chocolate and ice cream. I had created a mindset for myself where I started to dislike the flavor of it. After I let go of that, Boom. I liked Swiss cheese. Another one of my favorites is my ChedderJack cheese. It's a hybrid I make myself. It's quite simple, really, you just take a few sticks of that pepperjack you can buy at the store and slice it up real thin. Then, you take a nice block of cheddar and slice that up as well. Then, you pop them all into a nice pot or pan, and leave them there to melt. Stir occasionally. however, I wouldn't try this at home if I were you, as my old stove is prone to sputtering, leaking gas and burning it around the edges, stopping, and going too powerful randomly. I'm pretty sure that's the only reason it works. Anyway, then you take it after melting it together and pour it into a tuppelware container, and pop it in the freezer for around 2 hours, then leave it in the fridge. I really like this cheese because it is a nice blend of orange and white, and combines the sharpness of the cheddar with the smooth and spicy taste of the pepperjack. Sometimes, to make it even better, I'll ad hints of parmesan or Swiss cheese. The only cheese I don't really care for is feta. The texture of it is alarming, and it's very sharp, which I don't mind, but it seems to almost go up into your nose and remain in the back of our throat. It's a little unnerving, and I can't say I like the flavor. but, meh. The other is Bleu, which is odd as you don't expect to get that flavor out of the cheese, but it's not bad. Well, that's pretty much all I wanted to say for now. I could share much more, but I'm still feeling a bit crappy. Good night, people.

any comments? At all?

Dead? Nobody wants to read?

They're good rants, I really wish someone would comment on them by now.